Three pregnant women are sitting on a bench knitting jumpers.
The first one says ” I hope I’m having a boy, because I just love knitting this blue jumper”
The second one says “I hope I’m having a girl because this jumper is coming out very pink”
The third one says ” I hope my kid is spastic because I just totally messed up the arms!”

And a much simpler joke:
What did the knit stitch say to the purl stitch?
Nice backside

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the
little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In
trying to sort out their affairs, the old man took down the shoebox and took
it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know
what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a
stack of money totaling $250,000. Holy Moley! He asked her about the
contents.

“When we were to be married,” she started, “my grandmother told me the
secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever
got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.” The old
man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were
inside the box! She had only been angry with him two times in all those
years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he
said, “that explains the doilies, but…. what about all this money? Where
did it all come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.
I know it is a crochet joke but it is so funny I had to share it;)Hugs Darcy darcysknottyknitter[AT]gmail[DOT]com
knottyknitter40 rav id

http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/2009/02/tarquinn.html

teabird / ravelry

I have not heard about this magazine, but I’d sure love to see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUOgqefnt_I

Hope you enjoy!

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’ The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’ The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree, & replies, ‘It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.  It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.’

enjoy the story.